Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I would ride that face into the sunset
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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