hotel room ftw
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
