my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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