Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
