so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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