check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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