she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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