ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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