I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
