So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
