I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
of course. lets lasso hookers.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize