we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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