your thong is hanging out like whoa
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
