I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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