marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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