remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I don't think brook has ever known best
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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