So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
