I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
