no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
