bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
