if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
