twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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