I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
