I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
