what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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