can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
