I'm really into asian looking animals
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
