I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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