It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
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