Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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