He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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