So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
