I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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