New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
