Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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