believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
