how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
