I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
