no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm too high and old for this...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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