They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
