Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
