ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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