I will die if light touches me.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
