i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
