yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
