just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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