i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't deserve a penis
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
