why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dicks are not precious.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
