She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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