im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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