If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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