I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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