May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
