yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
