i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I believe in your delicious
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
