I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
