so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Still dying that you shit outside
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
