hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
