i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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