shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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