actually, I'm a sock model
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize