remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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