I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
